[Update 09/27/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots
also.]
The original wasn't anything special, so SORORITY ROW has the potential to be
better than the original...but it's not. It's a turd. It's still light
years better than that shitty Michael Bay
FRIDAY THE 13TH
remake though, but then again falling down a flight of stairs teeth first would
be more enjoyable than that boring piece of shit.
A group of six annoying stuck up and unattractive bitches (the killer couldn't
kill them fast enough to suit me), pull a prank at a party and girl ends up
dead. A few months later, a mysterious killer shows up and starts killing people
with a "pimped out" tire iron. Good grief. There's around 10 killings and
they average from the stab-through-the-wall method all the way to flare gun in
the mouth. Yawn. The killer wears a graduation outfit. Stupid. There's only a
few quick flashes of nudity and none of it by anybody attractive.
If you've already done everything that you've ever wanted to do in your life and
now you're just sitting around waiting for Death's cold finger then I'd say
watch this movie, but if not then skip it.
Original - The House of Sorority Row (1983)